Tuesday, April 19, 2011

It's a rainy day and I'm in a crappy mood.

No pretense here. I'm in a fitful mood. An antsy, semi-angry mood. Eventhough I did some great gratitude work yesterday at a fabulous Gratitude workshop -- and I meant every word I uttered and wrote -- I'm a crankcase.

Why? it's dank, depressing, 37 degrees and gloomy. It rains just enough to freak out my beagle and I hate seeing her suffer, eventhough it's a self-imposed suffering. I've still been transcribing notes from NOLA, but when it's so dreary, it's hard to focus on much of anything.

So I watched "Jaws 3". In 1983's version of 3-D which was quite rudimentary (with an emphasis on the "rude" part).

Oh man. It's just SO BAD. Even by 1983's special effects standards. I remember seeing it in the theatres and thinking, "WHEN will this be OVER? I'm not scared -- I'm bored out of my MIND!"

I wonder if it was a dank day back in 1983 when I viewed it.

Well, it sure felt like one: I'm the Number One "Jaws" fan I know. It's my favorite film in the whole wide world because of its character development and rousing story. "Jaws 2" was twee, but at least it had Lorraine Gary. "Jaws 3" had Dennis Quaid, looking pretty 80's hot, but he couldn't help save this embarrassing film from its own inky black depths.
Why "Jaws 3D" at all? WHY am I writing about this? Because I did a DVR search for "amusement parks" and it came up since it's set at "an aquatic amusement park". A number of scenes were filmed at Sea World in Florida. But in the film, it barely qualifies as an amusement park. Bumper boats, a water ski-type performance. That's about it. Except there is that enclosed tunnel under the water and the teen girls walk through it and get essentially frisked by an octopus (a guy manning it??) and menaced by an eel that pops out at them, like in a fun house walk-through, blah, blah, blah. Oh, and there's a killer whale and some cute dolphins which almost perish but triumphantly return at the film's end. And they twirl! In 3-D!!
The 3D effects were the real draw back then, but by today's standards, they're beyond laughable. I had to call Ben into the living room to watch the climax with me:

*************SPOLIER, As lame as it is*********************

WHEN THE SHARK BLOWS UP REAL GOOD, BASICALLY VARIOUS PARTS OF SAID SHARK ARE COMIN' AT YOU IN 80S QUALITY 3-D...INCLUDING ITS JAWS. (Get it? The jaws?? How clever is THAT? And they're comin' atcha like SCTV's "Monster Chiller Horror Theatre"!)
Ah me.... I just wish it'd stop raining out there. I've got parks to visit in over two weeks! But they'll be in Oregon. Probably be raining there, too (last line said in an Eeyore voice).

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